Wednesday, 4 May 2011

John Lambie Hall of Fame - Martin Allen

Name: Martin Allen
Born: 18th August 1965, Reading

The third inductee to the John Lambie Hall of Fame is Notts County Manager Martin Allen, nominated by Mackie. The more we looked into him, the more convinced we were that he's absolutely bonkers.

Clubs Managed

Barnet, Brentford, Milton Keynes Dons, Leicester City, Cheltenham Town, Notts County

Why is he in the John Lambie Hall of Fame?

He is one of the modern game’s great eccentrics. I think you just need to read some of his quotes to be honest!

On Diet: “I banned pasta because it didn’t do them any good before so they might as well start eating. On the way back from Burton the other day we had crates of lager on the bus and everyone was happy.”

On Harry Rednapp: "I knocked on Harry Redknapp's door, just to say hello," he recalls. "In there were Jim Smith, Kevin Bond, Dennis Rofe and Dave Pleat, all sat watching a game on the TV. One of them said, 'So, have you been diving in the Solent this morning, Martin?' And they all laughed. Once the laughter had stopped, I looked every one of them in the eye, and said, 'Yeah, I swam in the Solent, and now, this afternoon, we are going to beat you'. I never laughed, I never smiled. I just left and slammed the door.”

On Sven: "I was lucky enough to attend the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year," recalls the Bees' manager. "I won the award for London Sports Personality." He pauses before adding with a satisfied smile: "I beat Jose Mourinho. Anyway, during the evening I asked Mr Eriksson if he'd like to pop down to Brentford one morning, watch us train and have a chat. "Well, he didn't even know who Brentford were. 'Who's Brentford; where are you? What division are you in?' he asked me. I replied, 'Thank you very much; goodbye', and walked away.

It was at that point I wondered what it would be like to go into a 50-50 tackle with him. If I was earning £5 million a year, I’d make sure I knew who Brentford were.”

On arriving in Nottingham:

“Good morning,

Special thank yous this morning to the people who have helped me since I got here last week.

“On Saturday, the Groundsman at late notice done a job for me. Top man!

“On Monday, Hannah the Analyst stayed here until 7.30 in the office to show me the set plays of Tranmere Rovers for my training session yesterday morning because I was busy the whole day Monday. She is a top girl!

“Kate stayed here going through all my paperwork and organising me until 8.45 on Monday night. Kate is the girl who works in the office. She took my white shirt home and ironed it and brought it back in to work for me to wear last night. She’s top girl!

“The bus drivers are cool and calm and drive the bus smoothly and calmly. They are top lads!”

“I am trying to find somewhere to kip. I don’t like these posh hotels. I don’t want nothing flash. If you know anyone, it’s for me and my dog Monty who is a very good boy. I need somewhere, preferably on the south side of Nottingham to kip, have a bit of food maybe and kind of be a dosser who will keep himself to himself, who works long hours. Very polite and well mannered, friendly, funny, kind, caring, occasionally mad. If anyone can help, please contact the club.

“Thank you once again, after what has for sure been a very, very tough week.


Welcome aboard, Martin. I’m sure the great man would bloody love to share a bottle of whisky with you.

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